Finals Irritation

See here’s how its supposed to work: there’s this insane amount of work and it’s all building up and then there’s this final day of classes and you turn everything in and screen your final project and say peace to your professors and then you’re out. The obligatory fete is in order because now everybody is done! Yeah well that’s how it’s supposed to work.

What really happens is there are around 3 weeks of drawn out finals and due dates and you have two more classes to attend even after all your coursework is complete and nobody wants to party because they still have stuff to study for and they’re flying home the night of their test so they don’t have time anyways, sorry man. I want an epic end-of-year party! Low budget adolescent comedies have been promising me this since the 80’s and it is my due. I want people to commit insane regrettable acts while under the influence of unspeakable volumes of substances only to have those acts forgotten or obscured by the summer break. It’s just the way things are supposed to happen. And I feel fuckin ripped off that it never works out that way.

Facial Hair Vexation

Also worth noting: I’ve been trying to grow actual facial hair over the past couple weeks and I now have something that you could argue qualifies as sideburns. They’re fun. Not as thick as I’d like, but I just don’t have that much facial hair at this point. I think they look pretty good, and I think that as I give them time to fill out they’ll look better, but people have been accusing me of “attempting to grow muttonchops” lately and it’s been bothering me. Yeah you heard right, several (I.E. more than 3) people have brought up the phrase “muttonchops” or the abbreviated “chops” in conversation about my foray into facial hair. Now I know those of you uneducated in the ways of facial hair might have trouble distinguishing these two images I’ve placed here, but the dude on the top has what are rightfully called “muttonchops,” a term defined by Oxford’s American Dictionary as, “the whiskers on a man’s cheek when shaped like a meat chop, narrow at the top and broad and rounded at the bottom.” This can be easily distinguished from the style of facial hair visible on the subject on the bottom, which is colloquially referred to as “Ben’s feeble attempt at expressing virility.” Get the difference? Good.

Long have I awaited the day that I can grow a convincing set of chops, but today is not that day.