• Sarah Palin can run faster than Usain Bolt, but in the political sense.
• Sarah Palin shot the last living wooly mammoth from a paleolithic flying machine called “magic.”
• Sarah Palin’s son Trig is something of a savant, named for his astonishing ability to do advanced trigonometric calculations even though he is a mentally handicapped baby.
• Sarah Palin receives royalties every time hollywood uses the phrase “aw shucks,” to which she owns copyright.
• George W. Bush’s nickname for Governor Palin is Athena, Goddess of Heroic Endeavor. Senator Biden’s nickname for her is Saint Jude.
• Sarah Palin can expertly field-dress a minority voter.
• Sarah Palin’s had to send an incompetent clone to be interviewed by Katie Couric because she was fighting Muslim Russians on the Alaskan coastline.
• Sarah Palin has actually read all of the newspapers.
• On cold nights when it’s time to go to sleep, John McCain lovingly tucks Sarah Palin into his jowls.
Posted: October 8th, 2008 under Comedy.
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