• Michael Phelps was disqualified from competing in the 1996 Olympics when the IOC determined that running on the surface of the water did not count as “swimming.”
• Michael Phelps won a gold medal incognito as beach volleyball player Kerri Walsh at the XXVIII Olympiad in Athens.
• Michael Jordan cannot hold his bowels in The Presence of Michael Phelps.
• Michael Phelps has been nominated for all of the Nobel Prizes except literature. He razed the city of Stockholm to teach the prize committee some manners.
• Half of Michael Phelps’s training regime remains shrouded in mystery as it takes place on a swamp planet in the Dagoba system. Just who is training him there, or what he is learning is the subject of much speculation.
• Bob Costas is a figment of Michael Phelp’s imagination.
• Barrack Obama pays Michael Phelps a royalty every time he uses the slogan “Yes We Can” or inspires a member of the younger generation.
• McDonald’s tried to low-ball Michael Phelps on an endorsement deal for their new chicken sandwich. In response, Phelps willed Ronald McDonald’s heart to stop.
• In early 2007, Michael Phelps breifly considered the concept of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris spent a week in the hospital.
Posted: August 12th, 2008 under Comedy.
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